Who needs to go to Africa when you have a safari ranch three hours from your house?

Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch just outside of San Antonio, TX is full of some major awesome.  Where else can you make friends with a face like this?

Very polite water buffalo.

Or get your car attacked by this?

Batshit crazy, angry ostrich that almost pecked my eyes out. And actually tried to eat my car door. True story. *Photo by Rhonda Rubin*

When I wasn’t squealing like a little girl, I was in animal photography Heaven.  I’ll definitely be going back to this place again.  Perhaps sometime after Spring of 2014, since it looks like they’ll be growing the herd and adding more animals.  The photographer in me would really like to expand upon this black and white series.

You can see all of my images from the trip here.

What Disney Movies Taught Me

Disney movies definitely taught me a lot about life and how to prepare for my future as spoiled, misunderstood tween.  For instance, brushing your hair with a fork, while cute, will give you some seriously messed up split ends.  And just about every perfect, voice of an angel, impeccably dressed Adonis of a gentleman on horseback claiming to be a prince?  Is gay.  Also, swimming with your legs closed and your eyes open is nowhere near as fun as Ariel makes it out to be.  It gives you foot cramps and makes your eyes sting.  Those fairytale characters impose some ridiculously impossible conditions in which we’re supposed to execute our otherwise mundane lives.  A flock of birds will never brush my hair for me.  Nor will I get the dress of my dreams by crying about it while a bunch of mice make it in secret anyway.

So I absolutely understand what this chick is preaching.  Girl knows what’s up and I’m glad she figured it out before she really messed up her life trying to live up to the expectations of how a teen girl should be projecting herself.  Plus, I just think she’s ridiculously funny.  Keep it real, Jenna.

P.S. She cusses like a sailor.  A drunk sailor.  Whose favorite word is fuck.  You have been warned.

Happy New Year from The RubinSmo Manor

Me, Rhonda, Adam, Ileya, & Sugar

The four of us hit up Tila’s Restaurant for a Motown themed New Year’s Eve bash.  Old School Harmony was there bringing the house down with fantastic tunes and cheesy dance moves.  We were served incredible food, complimented heavily on our fun outfits, and somewhere tossed in there was a pitcher of sangria and some Champagne.  All in all?  A fantastic way to ring in 2011.  Also, I nearly peed myself with laughter at Rhonda and her new found love of “bobsy” hair.

Happy New Year, everyone.  Here’s hoping it kicks even more ass than the last.